Non-Important Title about Overcoming Obstacles | #04

There is a great importance in eating shit. I mean that figuratively of course. Whether it’s getting up on stage and completely bombing in front of a live crowd of 10,000. or getting knocked out in a professional fight in front of a crowd of 10. We all have our own examples of perseverance and how overcoming defeat and adversities builds character. Those adversities can manifest themselves as just about anything. A life decision, a new subject in school. A job opportunity, or even a loss of a job. Each of them presenting themselves to us as opportunities to take action, each of those actions resulting in either victory or defeat. My question to you is… How often do we practice the behaviors that bring about these victories and defeats? And how do we know the difference between what actions brought about victory and what actions bring about defeat? How often do we go out and put ourselves on the line after we have failed only to learn from the process itself and not the result. 

We have all fallen short one time or another in our lives. If we were able to get up, regroup, and go back out there, then we probably tasted that sweet reward (whatever it was) savored it and went on to repeat it a time or two again. For some of us, that initial taste of perseverance if you will, never occurred. We were either distracted or discouraged from facing what put us on our asses in the first place. Is it fear? Is it lack of skill or experience? What about guidance or instruction? There are a number of reasons why we refuse to get back up on that horse, and try again, Each of them causing many of us to rob ourselves of the sweet taste of conquering a fucking goal.

I admittedly have tasted both sides of this bitter-sweet treat. I have had my fair share of victories up until this point in my life, and I have had my good amount of defeats as well. None have come easy in any context and I’m sure there has been a lesson or two ingrained in each. The point I’m trying to make is that anyone and everyone has an example of victory and defeat they can relate too, and it’s important we’re focusing on, and emphasizing the right aspects of the behaviors that brought about a positive result (victory) as opposed to a negative result (defeat)

Whenever we are faced with a ‘challenge’, whether it be an obstacle, task, anything that may presents an opportunity or a problem of sorts, there are two very clear options: face the said challenge and deal with the consequences, or avoid the challenge and deal with the consequences. Nevertheless, there is no way out; once you have faced it, or it faced you, you are destined to deal with the consequences of your actions, as it pertains to said challenge. Now, this isn’t a writing to tell you how to respond to these challenges, but instead, an idea on how the results of these challenges, fuel how we further progress through our lives… If that makes sense. 

Basically, it’s Endgame, but in relation to adversity in your own life. It’s about how we react to these given situations that will foster the behaviors that will allow us to further navigate equal or greater situations. If you gave up as a kid in team sports, you’re likely giving up on relevant activities now as an adult in your 20’s or 30’s, to some capacity.

 I have recognized similar behaviors in myself before, and it never ends pleasantly.

In the 7th grade I was in a music class as an elective. I hadn’t chosen an instrument and was coming up on the deadline to pick an elective that would see me through the year. The teacher knew I enjoyed the class so she gave me an option that would allow me to stay enrolled. She told me I could play the guitar, although I’d only be involved in a few performances throughout the year, or I could be her T.A. and help her with her daily tasks and what not. I opted to not learn the guitar and instead be a fucking T.A… What the actual fuck was I thinking? in the 7th grade at the time I wanted to goof off and talk wrestling, impress girls, and do other nerd shit, I didn’t want to learn anything, so being able to help during class instead of doing homework seemed like a no brainer for me.

I fucking love music, I did at the time too. But I was at this stage where I was getting less and less interested in school and sports, and more and more interested in friends and what was cool and not cool, and chicks. Shout out to Angela Tesinsky… Now I’m cursed with this gross reluctancy towards exploring my creative side. Is this a bad decision manifesting itself as regret, perhaps; but it is also a lesson learned the hard way or so it seems. At the very least, it’s a reminder for me and it has been for years, that I should take advantage of opportunities given to me, regardless of how scary, challenging, or difficult they may be. And when I do dive in I intentionally try my hardest to accomplish them to my best. 

Now I know that no eleven year old is going to have this type of foresight but as adults we should. I often wonder where my creative itch would be and how it would be scratched if I had picked up the guitar instead of going the other route as a T.A.. I eventually did learn how to play guitar but that was mid high school and by that time I had other interests as well. So it likely didn’t impact me as much. I often think, Maybe if I stuck with baseball instead of karate, a team sport as opposed to an individual one, at age 12, I would have been more inclined to carry that over into high school, rather than the individual artistic route. Maybe these routes would have resulted in different friends, started different timelines, brought about different outcomes, and what would those differences be? It’s a paradox of existentialism that’ll never reach a conclusion and honestly, one we shouldn’t dwell in. 

But we can learn from it. 

All the ‘what if’s?’ and ‘I wonder’s’ don’t change the fact that my decision that day, be it good or bad, had some effect on how I have made decisions in my life since then. I can’t look at that particular incident as more or less significant than others, and I can’t focus in on that one as being a good or bad decision in this particular journey I’m on. It’s simply a stop along the journey. I can respectively learn, adapt, and execute in a way that brings about results that favor me, rather than play into my weaknesses. As if  I’m unlocking skill sets and leveling up as opposed to not playing the game and losing out on potential achievements. 

The important factors in all this are the learning and application parts.  

Are we reflecting on these situations with goggles of regret and wonder? Pondering over what a different outcome would have produced? Cowering at the presence of a new situation? Or are we acknowledging that we can only learn from these decisions and situations and apply what works to future ones. Or perhaps we suffer from a little bit of both.

Regardless of what we take from these situations, the strategy is too: learn from the feelings and emotions tied to the actions we commit. Take them as digestible and applicable behaviors that we can use for situations that are inevitably to come our way in the future. The tactics are: find out what action you made and whether or not they produced positive or negative results. Refine and repeat the positive behaviors, while learning and adapting the negative behaviors to positive ones. You also need to acknowledge but discard what isn’t working or worth your time, which may take some nuance. It’s a lot I know, but it’s easy, I swear, it’s literally learning from the past.

Do not and I repeat, DO NOT run from these situations, from the past. Instead think about them logically, think about the past as it relates to your life in the present. Think about what could come from it. Then get to work!! Do not run from it. If you’re one living in the past, don’t sulk in the feelings you’ve felt or decisions you’ve made regardless of how bad they may make you feel. That fright you’re feeling is only going to produce a timid and naive response mechanism. One that chooses to give up and avoid rather than confront and overcome. The behavior of giving up doesn’t promote growth or advancement, instead it only produces decay and embarrassment. I think it’s important for us to remember that; as individuals first and foremost, we are capable of great things. It is the limitations within ourselves that bring about the mediocrity we’re all afraid of yet so comfortable with. We have these ceilings we can’t breach, these heights were afraid to experience, all because of a preceding moment where we weren’t operating at our best. What does this say for our future? How can we look at ourselves and be okay with this mediocre behavior? We shouldn’t be. If you’re not okay with it and you are winning so to speak, good for you. If you welcome mediocrity and are living a life of quiet desperation, then wake the fuck up. Get your ass Moving!

If I haven’t lost you yet, good. We’re almost home, I promise.  

There is a saying that is something along the lines of, “how we do one thing is how we do everything”. I believe this to be true to some extent regardless of the significance of the event itself. If this is true, then both the good and bad behaviors equally influence how a situation pans out. That saying holds true to the behaviors that set us up for both success and failure. A combination that almost nobody can fully control yet almost anybody can acknowledge and learn from. With this being the case, it’s these behaviors specifically that seemingly shape the outcomes in our lives that bring about the very things that eventually shape them. Our careers, our beliefs, our attitudes, and actions alike. 

These small forgettable and sometimes regrettable behaviors that may or may not have grand implication on who we ultimately become, that’s a mind fuck and half! 

How can we live with such a heavy weight especially when we’re 60 suffering from Uncle Rico Syndrome. The answer is simple; don’t wait to become uncle Rico. Start taking those positive action steps now! Get your ass moving in the right direction, If you are 60, and suffering from URS, then don’t be in the same spot at 61, or 62, you don’t need to be. Don’t run from challenges, change, opportunities, problems, obstacles, any of it. Face it with pride and live with the results. Learn from them… and keep moving!